Case 32 A Lady of the Night Speaks
Mattie: “It’s a right old lark ain’t it?”
Group: “Welcome whoever you are.”
Mattie: “Matilda’s me name, Mattie they used to call me. Yeah.”
Group: “You’ve been before, haven’t you?”
Mattie: “No mate, no, I haven’t been here. No.”
Group: “You’re always welcome the first time. What have you got to tell us?”
Mattie: “Cor, Nice old place you got here, isn’t it, eh? A bit better than what I used to live in I can tell you.”
Group: “Where did you live?”
Mattie: (laughs)“Well I’m sure you can guess mate.”
Group: “Well, whereabouts in London then?”
Mattie: “Well, I am from the East End but I used to go into the West End. I weren’t a good lady, I weren’t, no.”
Group: “Piccadilly”?
Mattie: “That sort of way mate. (Group laughter) I didn’t know about good at all. In fact I ended up real bad. That was the luck of the game as they call it. You live like that, you take the risk but it’s a rum old life, I’ll tell you.
But we meet all sorts, some good, some bad, some horrid. I thought I was for the high jump when I got over here! (Laughter) I really thought I was for the high jump, I mean I gave up all thought about church and that sort of thing. I just didn’t think about it after I got into such things. I didn’t mean to get into it, but to be honest, my mother was one. I tried not to, but by the time I was fifteen there weren’t no other way. My mother took me up West, put all these clothes on me, and I was away. They call it a profession, and I was a professional. I knew what I was doing but it still ain’t easy. There are times when you ‘ate yourself. Down underneath, there’s always this feeling that you’re dirty. People look at you as if you ain’t human. Anyway I got pushed to the other side, unfortunately, by this bloke what thought it was good to get rid of people like me. I was strangled.”
Group: “Then what happened?”
Mattie: “Well I kept wanting to die. I could feel his fingers round me throat, I knew it was going to happen, and my head started buzzing and it felt as if me eyes was going to come out and then I couldn’t feel anything. I kept thinking well hurry up and die then if you’re going to die, for Gawd’s sake, but I didn’t. Then I see him running off and I thought, oh, that’s good , he’s gorn, I’ll be able to get home again, and I sort of went about my business as you might say.”
People didn’t talk to me no more. Mind you I didn’t feel that good after having that happen to me, I can’t say I was in pain but I felt, Oh, you know, it was strange, I knew it had happened and yet I didn’t feel as if there was any pain, that’s the only way I can put it. I tried to talk to my girlfriend and everything and the next thing I knew she was screaming her … I was going to say a naughty word then, her head off. (They told me I weren’t to say none of my naughty words) and she was leaning over this body, and it were me, and I was dead. Somehow I knew I was dead. I didn’t muck about, I’ve met a lot since that wander around and say they ain’t dead. But I knew I was, because it was always a risk, I knew others it happened to, and somehow, I thought well that’s it my girl, you’re gone, what now? I mean here I was still walking on the streets where I’d always been. I didn’t really know what to do. Then I sees this bloke coming towards me, he seemed a decent sort of bloke and he stopped and talked to me and I thought, ‘Oh good, here’s a customer’. (Laughs) Naughty! Then he says “Well that’s all finished now, you don’t have to bother no more about that”.
“Well I’ve still got my living to earn,” I said “No you haven’t, you’re dead and you know that, don’t you?” I said, “Well I gathered it, but,” I said “I don’t really think, well here I am still on the streets. I’ve still got to carry on sort of thing,” and he says, “No not here you haven’t.” “Come with me” Well I’ve walked with enough men not to bother about it, so I walked along with him, and I know this will sound daft but we hopped on a bus, only the bus seemed to take us into the country, which was lovely, and all these lovely places and people, I couldn’t believe it.
“Ere,” I says “where are we?” ‘E says “Well this is where you are going to live now,” ‘E says “you don’t need to worry no more, some of your friends are here,” and believe it or not, quite a lot of the girls was there, yeah, and me old mum. I said I thought we were all so wicked we would, you know, go to the other place, not that I believed there was another place, but I didn’t think there would be anything good, and he said “You see, most of you, most of you, lived your life in a way that was trying to be kind to people, you haven’t got any hate in your heart really. You don’t understand entirely. A number of times you were good to people, - he reminded me of some of the kids I’d given money to round and about, some of the old folk I’d given money to, ‘cos that’s what I used to do, you know. I used to go back to the East End, and I earned quite good money, and if there was an old Granny or someone that was short, like, I used to give them a bit.
And he says “No, you ain’t going down there, you’re going to be here,” and I’ve moved on from there, and me Mum was there, and she had a lovely little house and we went in there and stayed there.
It’s not an unusual story really it’s just that I wanted to say that it’s because you might look at people like me sometimes, you hear of them on the streets and things. Many of them are very kindhearted, you know. I know a lot of people laugh and joke and say a heart of gold, and all that but it’s true, a lot of them are, but they’re very kind. You’ve got to be a bit kind to do that job you know because the customers aren’t
always nice, some of them are very cruel and unkind to you, you put up with a lot, and then there’s the rotten so and so’s that batten on yer. So don’t always judge by the outside. I think that’s my message.”
Group: “Thank you, we’ll pass that on.”
Mattie: “Do you want to talk about anything or ask anything?
Group: “Anybody got any questions? Are you happy in your present life?”
Mattie: “I get a bid sad sometimes, I think I wasted my life. I try to go to school now and learn, and that sort of thing. This was some time ago when we were really thought of as something awful, I don’t think it’s so bad now, but they were thought of as really awful, this was after the first world war and in between that and the next one, but I died before the next war.
Well, I know it’s not like any of you lot but I just thought I would tell you because maybe somebody who might hear some of your things (tapes) might think that they ain’t due for anything good, but it ain’t always that, no matter what, it depends on the person and how they lived, and they can often find more waiting for them on the other side than them what they thinks that they’re good.”
Group: “We understand.”
Mattie: “OK, I ain’t going to stay long, I’ll just leave you. Thanks ever so much for letting me talk to you.”
Group: “Could you tell us your name”?
Mattie: “Mattie, Matilda. Mattie they used to call me.”
Group: “Just before you go, have you got lovely jet black hair?”
Mattie: “Yeah, me Mum was a gypsy but settled down in London, she had no other way of earning a living, she was pretty and I had her hair, yeah.”
Group: “Well, we give you our love, be sure of that.”
Mattie: “Thank you, thank you for your work too, you don’t know how it’s appreciated on the other side. You do well.”
Post a Comment View Comments(0)Did you enjoy this article? why not let us know.
Visit website for more info:
www.spiritstalking.info
Post Article:
Submit Your Own Article