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Cutting the Ties Ceremony

Date: Wed,23 Jul 2008

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Be warned! This is not for the feint-hearted! This ceremony, when done with Intention, is very powerful indeed and may cause ripples like tidal waves if you don't know what you're doing! I know. I just did it!

Basically, I did some spiritual housekeeping and decided that I needed to let go of some things in my life that were stuck, or stagnant. In all honesty, one of the biggest things was my shaky relationship with my father. He and my mother divorced when I was a baby, and I didn't really know him until I was 21 years of age. By then he had another wife and young family, and over the years, we have attempted to make things work out, but I guess we're too much alike for that to happen, or just not on the same wavelength. Whatever the reason, it was becoming painful and difficult for me to stay in the place of pretending all was well... after one last final attempt to communicate honestly with dad, he was having none of it, and was quite vociferous in his defence against my daring to expose the truth. This truth was mine... it was simply that I felt upset that he had been visiting the UK (he lives abroad) and had met up with my stepsister in Glasgow (she lives in Australia)... I felt hurt that they hadn't contacted me in Wales to meet up somewhere for a chat, nothing more.

After I realised that things were never going to be any different, and the Knight in Shining Armour I wanted my dad to be, was not going to happen, I decided to let go, to set us all free from the ties that only served to cause hurt and disappointment all round... Expectation is a good thing if you're sure that what you expect is going to come to fruition... not so good if you get disillusioned all the while. I am learning that I need to allow others to Be... as I wish to be accepted and allowed to Be, despite the differences.

The Ceremony

Basically, you go into a beautiful place in your mind, and relax. There then follows a process of visualising the various stages of cutting the ties that bind you to another, whether it be a person, place or thing, or a situation. When it's done, you let the other one go with love, and you then cleanse and protect yourself.

**If anyone needs this explaining in detail I will be happy to email the actual ceremony to anyone who contacts me**

What followed physically (lets not forget that what begins in the ethers, manifests in the physical) was like a tidal wave that engulfed me in a plethora of emotions. I felt as if I had taken a dive in the pipeline of a massive wave and my surfboard and I crashed to the ocean floor in a flurry of confusion. It actually felt as if I was drowning, such was the force of the wave. The person I had cut ties with, also had ties attached to other members of the family whom I believed I had a decent relationship with, but unfortunately, they all turned on me and attacked from the position of defending themselves. I understand what and why they did it, but it didn't stop it from hurting like hell...

However, I've survived. I've cried many tears, but I feel cleansed. I know in my heart that my intention was not to hurt, only to release. I feel only love for them all now, not resentment and bitterness and isolation. I pray to God and Angels that they, one day, feel my love because now it is Genuine. I also learned that in all humility, I am willing to look at and face anything I need to do in order to grow and change in my life. I am not afraid of that. It's incredibly Free-ing!

I wanted to tell my story because if anyone needs to be free of the 'ties that bind' I recommend it, but with the awareness that for a few days it will be really difficult. You need to be aware of what it is you are cutting, and be specific. After all, if you cut your finger it hurts and it takes a while for the skin to knit back together. If you're lucky, or rather, if it's done properly, you won't have a scar!

I am glad I did what I did, because it at least brought the truth of the situation out into the open. I would rather have done it with as much love as I could and as gently as I could, but this was not possible... mainly due to the fears of the others.

I believe that when you are in Fear, and you don't want to look at something out of fear, you not only bind yourself to unhappiness, but you also bind others. Fear acts like a thrombosis in the system of Flow... and that isn't healthy.

At this precious time in our lives, energies are changing and moving and expanding at a rapid rate, and all of us on our planet are caught up in something or another. I believe it is all necessary, for us all to start with a clean slate...

I would not have changed things, and as much as I've gone over how I could have done it better, I can't undo it. I can only resolve to keep moving on and up in as much love, light and wisdom as I can find.

I sincerely pray that my family will join with me again at some point along the way home... and if they don't I wish them all the love in the world, accepting that they are not wrong, nor am I - we're just different.

Safe Journey, folks... yours in gratitude... Jay xxxx
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Valerie said:

Thanks for that article - quite powerful and touched a chord in me. For my own health I too need to understand that I will never be accepted by my father and as he is now 98 and in poor health and I am 61, and I haven't seen him for 4 years, I do doubt things will change. I feel the need to cut the ties now before he passes over so that we can both be free with love. I would appreciate it if you could email me the ceremony.

Thanks Valerie
Mon,25 Mar 2013,17:58:26 GMT

Max said:

Thank you for your post, Jay. Please email me the ceremony, I really need to cut ties with my father too. I realise that my inner child's neediness of his approval and fear of him is crippling my sense of self and my ability to act with strength in most areas of my life.

Mon,13 Aug 2012,00:58:22 GMT

ifa said:

But i still don't get you. send me an email please, Jay.

love, Ifa
Sun,05 Feb 2012,10:15:09 GMT

Kimberly said:

Can you post or email me the details of the ceremony you performed. I am at a point where I need to do this myself. Greatly appreciated. Blessings, Kimberly
Fri,05 Aug 2011,17:16:58 GMT

Ifa Wayya said:

Hi I have read, Joy's article, "Cutting the Ties Ceremony" and needed detail. Would Joy be happy to do?

Ifa Wayya
Sat,18 Sep 2010,22:02:06 GMT

Jay Atkinson said:

Kzee... thank you so much! It has been a while but I've done these little ceremonies with great results... can you email me?

Love and appreciation, Jay xxx
Tue,27 Apr 2010,00:39:31 GMT

Karen said:

Hi Jay,
I came accross your article and would very much like you to send me the 'process' of cutting ties that bind. I am caught up in unhealthy relationships with both my mother and father and feel as though I'm stuck. Thank you for your inspiration! I have also just come across the book by Phyllis you know of it?
Warmest regards,
Mon,26 Apr 2010,13:57:49 GMT

Jay said:

Oh Ian.. I didn't feel that way last week! It was a very difficult thing to do, and with hindsight, I might have approached it differently, but I have learned a lot, so that was good...

Thank you for your lovely comments...

Love and light, Jay xoxox
Thu,24 Jul 2008,09:14:00 GMT

Ian said:

Very interesting Jay, it's take courage and wisdom to walk away from old patterns that don't serve us, you're certainly a very old wise soul.
Wed,23 Jul 2008,14:13:51 GMT
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